Let's Talk Potty Talk

Great weather we're having, huh?

Ok, now that we got the small talk out of the way, let's talk about something deeper. And by that I mean, issues that people don't like to talk about. And by that I mean potty talk. 

For most people growing up, there was nothing more hilarious than potty humor. The word poop itself was worthy of a good two hour laughing session and God help us all if someone farted. As we got older, this humor about bodily functions was deemed inappropriate with a swift, "No potty talk," from the parentals. But why? 

Those of you who know me, know that I am completely open when it comes to what's going on in my body. Usually, the first time I announce "I have to pee" to someone I am answered with, "TMI." Why? What did you think I was going to the bathroom to do? Stand there and look pretty? You pee too. 

Everyone pees and everyone poops. There's a whole book about the latter concept. So why exactly is it so bad to admit that we do these things?

From a young age, the concept of peeing, pooping, and all other bathroom activities were deemed inappropriate to talk about, most likely because they are relatively gross. After all, it is waste coming out of your body, but wait a minute. We're allowed to talk about eating which is when you put things into your body, but not allowed to talk about going to the bathroom which is when you send some of what you ate back into the world. 

It is my personal opinion that things would be much easier if we normalized these bodily functions instead of scandalizing them. There is no reason why we should be ashamed of something unavoidable and entirely natural. I'm not saying that you should announce exactly what you plan to do every time you go to the toilet, but don't be ashamed of the fact you have to use it at all. Be proud of your body for what it can do to keep you alive. No matter how gross it is that you produce waste, it's one of the many processes your body takes part in that keep you alive.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have to pee. 

Being a Hypocrite is Easy

If you have ever been in a position where you have the chance to influence peoples' behavior through your advice, you know what I am talking about. (I'm looking at you, parents.) It is undeniably easy to shell out perfect advice and they go on your merry way to do exactly the opposite of what you just told everyone else to do. It is also undeniably annoying when you find out that someone is being a hypocrite. There is nothing worse than someone who encourages you to work hard while sitting on their butt all day doing nothing.
Part of the struggle I have encountered while creating this blog is not being a hypocrite. Here I am, giving out life advice, not realizing how much of this advice I routinely ignore. But this hypocrite thing is something I have been working on all my life and I do believe that I have improved. So here are some reasons why you don't want to be a hypocrite even though it is easier.

1. People will be more likely to respect your opinion.
• It is a well known fact that no one respects a hypocrite.
2. People will actually follow your advice.
• If people respect what you say, they'll listen to you. You also will be doing more than simply hand out advice, you will be leading by example.
3. You will be more likely to give out good advice. 
• If you look at your advice from a perspective of "is this something I'm capable of," you are less likely to give out advice that is impossible to follow or way too complicated.

Hopefully we can all learn from this blog and stop being hypocrites together.

A Not So Commaical Situation

Today I would like to discuss an extremely serious topic; one that penetrates our lives and goes by unnoticed on a daily if not hourly basis. I'm sure a few of you already know what I am referring to. I apologize if you were expecting a funny or even comical blog, but I am going to have to be serious right now as I deal with this extremely imperative topic: the serial comma.
Some of you may know the serial comma as the Oxford comma. To those of you who have never heard of this crucial piece of punctuation, I will attempt to explain the situation.
The serial comma is a comma used before the "and" in a list of topics. For a few years now, there has been a growing debate on whether or not this comma is useful. As the debate continues, more and more people are switching to the "not useful" side and leaving the serial comma behind in the dust.
In order to shed some light on the reality of the issue, I traveled to a community of abandoned serial commas to get their opinion on the matter.

"I don't know what I'm going to do," one serial comma said to me gravely. "I have a family to support, bills to pay, and a day to fill. The positions for serial commas have decreased so massively that I'm not even certain that a college education will be enough to help my children obtain positions in the English language."

"All we can do is hope," the leader of Working to Hinder Ambiguous Texts (WHAT) informed me. "Hope that the world won't turn their back on us, that someone somewhere will hear our cries, and that the serial commas will find their places in the sentence structure once more."

Of course, not everyone in the community agrees that they are necessary anymore. I met up with the leader of the Working to Hinder Youth (WHY) group - which deals with destroying punctuation to create more ambiguity in the written language - to obtain their point of view.

"The way I see it the more people are confused by the written language the better," the spokes person of WHY explained, impatient to return to their daily routine of deleting serial commas from Wikipedia articles. "If people couldnt understand written language they might look up from those texting devices every once in a while Plus who wants to put in the effort to type one extra comma Were better off without them"

As the unemployment rate increases among serial commas, their community weakens. During my visit, I saw countless commas lying naked and hungry on the streets. Those who did have the resources needed to take care of their families were working unbelievable hours to obtain their income and had none to spare for their suffering brethren.
I encourage you readers to look into this imperative issue yourselves, take your own notes, and see the reality of the matter. A world without serial commas will not make sense, wills will become ambiguous, and the world will cease to exist as we know it. DO NOT LET THIS ISSUE PASS BY UNNOTICED! We all need to be doing everything we can to get to the bottom of the this issue, bring back the serial comma from poverty, and give it a well deserved place in the human language.

The Little Engine That Did

All of your life, your actions, your words, your legacy, boil down to one thing: the way you approach the world. Many of us read the story about the Little Engine that Could when we were children. The blue train successfully achieved the seemingly impossible task of rolling over the mountain with a cart of toys, all the while chanting, "I think I can. I think I can." I believe I speak for us all when I say that the actions of that brave little choo-choo became engraved in all of us.
There is no doubt that the little engine deserves praise for her accomplishments, but perhaps her method is what truly deserves the praise. After all, it was the train's belief in her own strength that allowed her to climb over that mountain and drag the load to its destination.

When encountered with the mountain, the train is discouraged. She knows that bigger trains have tried and failed to make it over that hill and she is not convinced that she is any stronger than them. However, a thought soon ingrains itself into her head and changes everything. First she thinks it. "I think I can." Then she says it. "I think I can." Before you know it, she's doing it, climbing over that mountain with her load of toys behind her. I can only assume that from this day forward, the little engine is fully confident in her abilities and willingly climbs all mountains she approaches. She becomes known in the community for being able to overtake any mountain she climbs and is forever thought of as the strongest train of all.
But it is not her physical strength that is so much greater than her locomotive brethren. It is her mental strength that surpasses them all. By having full faith in her abilities and charging into the problem headlong, the little engine makes the decision to climb the mountain and her actions go from an attempt to what they were always meant to be, actions.

The concept of "do" instead of "try" relates to your mentality going into a problem. Many people are told, "Don't try. Just do," and aren't sure what it means. They think, "I can't control whether or not I fail in the end so the best I can do is try," but that thought process is looking too far into the future. See, the "do, not try" mentality is all about how you enter a problem, not how you end it. 

Once you have succeeded or failed, you can look back on your actions as an attempt, but if you look into something while keeping the idea of failure in the corner of your eye, you may miss some of the traps success throws at you. If you do not face the problem headlong and believe that you can achieve your goals, you will be at a disadvantage. 

If you want to make sure that you are successful in all possible aspects of your life, live. Don't say, "I'll do my best," or, "I'm trying." Say, "I will," and then do. Not only will you feel more confident in yourself, but your likelihood of success will increase tenfold. 

When the train went over that mountain, she didn't think to herself, "I might be able to." She had confidence in her abilities and began approaching the problem by changing her method of thought. She instilled confidence in her self and pulled that cart over the mountain. So next time you are faced with a horribly steep mountain to lug a cart of toys over, think to yourself, "I think I can," and climb.