The Purpose of Life

Sidenote: The below is philosophical discussion. I don't intend to change any opinions or to say that my opinion is ultimately correct. I am simply posing food for thought.

I often ponder the reason for life and existence. It seems improbable that all of this world could just appear randomly and it is comforting for me to believe there is a God, so I believe there is a God. However, I am no longer convinced that humans are as great in His eyes as we believe we are.

The idea of creationism, and much of the Bible, is that humans were God's end-goal. He created the earth, seas, skies, and animals all so that humans could live well. Adam and Eve sinned, kicking us out of the garden of Eden and forcing us into a cold, dark world with painful childbirth (thanks a lot Eve).

But science has proven that humans have existed for an extremely short amount of time compared to the rest of the world. The earth has been around for about 4.54 billion years, an expanse of time too large for us to truly comprehend. Modern humans, on the other hand, have been around for only about 200,000 years, and even though this number is equally difficult to completely comprehend, we can easily see that 4.54 billion is much much larger than 200,000. If humans were God's goal all along, why did it take so long for us to come into existence?

There is, of course, the extremely valid argument that time is irrelevant because we can't possibly know how God experiences it. Perhaps those seven days discussed in the Bible are really 4.54 billion years, but in terms that us humans with our puny mortal brains can understand. However, recently, a new theory of life has emerged before me and inspired a new thought: Maybe humans aren't the main characters.

I highly advise you to read the full article here, but I will also supply a brief summary in order to highlight the parts I thought were important. At a bare minimum, the article states that a possible "purpose" for life is to fulfill the second law of thermodynamics and move everything into equilibrium. The idea is that evolution is driven by the tendency for atoms to find the most efficient way to move energy and that life itself is a result of atoms organizing in an attempt to reach equilibrium.

All of these ideas got me thinking that maybe humans are not God's great intention. Humans have placed themselves on top of a pedestal ready to be loved and praised, but perhaps the praise will never come because we are not the great success. We may merely be a stepping stone to something even more amazing that, like 4.54 billion, we cannot truly comprehend.

If you consider humans in context of the world we understand, we're very smart and successful creatures. But if you think of humans int he context of the world that has existed and will exist beyond us, we are hardly a speck of dust. There are species, such as the shark and the turtle, which have vastly outlived humans. So who are we to think that we, with our meager 200,000 years of existence, are the best creatures that have ever existed? That we are what God wanted from the very beginning?

Someone from Welcome to Nightvale (a strange, but entertaining podcast) once Tweeted:

Death is only the end if you assume the story is about you.

— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) January 6, 2015

And maybe they have a point. We have this strong tendency to place ourselves as the main character or the main species. But perhaps it is time we try looking at humanity through the lens of all time rather than the lens of what we have succeeded in our small expanse of 200,000 years.

When I began learning about evolution, physics, geology, and all those other sciences that conflict wit the bible, I began reworking my idea of God to make Him fit in with all this new knowledge. God went from an all powerful being who created a miracle to a "mad scientist" of sorts who created complex laws to govern the universe he created. My ideas of miracles changed from God making the impossible happen to God making the implausible happen. I referred to that concept as God "bending statistics." It is not that I believed that God was bound by his own laws, but that he chose to stick with them. After all, a world without rules would be utter chaos.

The purpose of this post is not to change anyone's opinions on God. I don't endeavor to make you believe or disbelieve. I simply wanted to share my thoughts with you about how humans may not be the main character we seem to think we are. If we aren't the main character, what does that imply for how we should be using the earth? Are we here to pose a challenge to all life on the planet or to make the planet better as the bible suggests? Leave me a comment if you have any ideas about this concept. I'd love to listen or discuss.

Give the Media a Treat

 

What's the best way to get someone to behave the way you want them to? According to psychological studies there are two main types of operant conditioning - a form of learning in which behavior is modified by consequences.

• Reinforcement - the goal is to reward desirable behavior, and thus increase the rate at which the desirable behavior is performed.
• A dog is given a treat after sitting when told.
• Punishment - the goal is to decrease undesirable behavior by introducing a negative stimulus that is associated with the undesirable behavior
• A dog stops stops jumping on family members because they are scolded.

Side Note: The definitions given are very surface level. In actuality, there are many more facets to reinforcement and punishment, but for the sake of this blog post, the above definitions will do.
Depending on what you want to achieve, you use punishment or reinforcement. Let's talk about one specific behavior that we are all trying to change: the lack of diversity in media.

There are articles all over the Internet criticizing TV shows, movies, magazines, etc. for their depiction of the “ideal” in their content. People seem to be under the impression that this criticism, a form of punishment, will help to increase diversity in media. But will it really?

What do people in the media want? Do they want people to love their content with all their hearts? Or do they want attention? Spoiler: they want attention because that’s what bring in revenue. That's the nature of business. The more articles that come out slamming a TV show for having yet another blond, white, female lead, the more TV shows are willing to cast those exact parts, because they get talked about, increasing views and therefore revenue.

We all know a person who is motivated purely by the desire to gain attention, whether good or bad. They'll pick fights just to get people to talk to them. Sometimes they're the sweetest person ever and sometimes they’re absolutely terrible. Whatever it takes to get people to look at them and think about them. The media is like that person.

So, how do you change the behavior of someone whose only motive is attention? You ignore the bad behavior and reinforce the good. Ok, hang on. I know what you're thinking. "We can't just ignore the fact that the media is putting out stereotypical and sometimes offensive content." And you're right. We can't. And we aren't.

By writing articles or having discussions about how a certainTV show, movie, magazine, what-have-you portrays an extremely diverse group of people or uses correct terminology, we are addressing the problem in a positive way. Media will quickly adjust to give us the content that we are talking about: the good stuff.

So let's stop complaining about the media that is doing it wrong, and start heralding the media that is doing it right. Before you know it, we'll be surrounded by wonderful influences. All it takes is a little positive reinforcement.

With that, I will leave you with a few commercials I’ve seen that I believe are worth sharing and good examples of things we should be praising.

What To Do When You Don't Know What To Write About

Writers Block is a very real and very serious problem that affects millions of writers every day. This terrible condition has a tendency of falling under the radar in favor of other more "serious" conditions such as physical illness. In reality, however, Writer’s Block is an extremely grave plight that must be dealt with immediately upon onset. The condition has been known to last anywhere from a few days to a few decades. Don't let Writer’s Block ruin your life or the life of someone you love. Take these steps to help eliminate this condition.

1. Talk to people.
Other people have lives too. It's possible that a single word could inspire a novel or an essay. Don't be afraid to admit that you have Writer’s Block and ask for assistance. You never know what could inspire your next greatest achievement.

2. Force yourself to write.
Even if you spend an hour typing out a sentence and deleting it or if you feel that nothing has come of the hour once it has passed, it's better to keep those writing muscles well oiled. Eventually, you will be able to latch onto an idea and write it out completely. Until then, make sure you're writing or you run the risk of forgetting how to write by the time you find your muse.

3. Take a walk.
I would suggest going outside, but if your only option is an indoor track, that works too. Walking helps to circulate blood to your brain, improving your thinking process. Moving around is certainly more beneficial than staring at a blank screen, unsure of what to do. When walking, you don't have to think about ideas. In fact, it's better to simply observe what's happening around you and later see what sticks out in your memories. Then, you could write about that or maybe it'll turn into something greater.

4. Google.
Google is a wonderful search engine that holds the key to so many solutions to your problems. In this case, you can use the all powerful website to find writing prompts and use them to get you going.

5. Write about what to do when you don't know what to write about.
Writing is all about pulling from your own experiences so if you are struggling to find a topic to cover, write about that struggle. You could make a list of advice you may or may not have followed or create an over-dramatic piece covering the horrors of Writer’s Block. Or maybe even a weird combination of the two.

Ultimately, the key is to stay calm and write on. We all experience a block in the pipes at some point. I guarantee, the pipes will run again and the words will flow like water in a stream. Until then, don't give up.

Together, we will write our way into a world where prompts are many and blockage is few.

Together, we will create a better tomorrow.

Together, we will stand.

And by stand I mean sit at our computers and type.

A Different Interpretation: Take Me to Church by Hozier

Sergei Polunin, "Take Me to Church" by Hozier, Directed by David LaChapelle

If you haven't seen that video, I highly advise watching it and if you have seen it, I highly advise re-watching it because it's pretty good. Admittedly, this video is one of those things that I had a small obsession over at once point, playing it over and over, analyzing every detail. The fact that I was also obsessing over the song too when the video came out didn't help.

But let's not talk about my slightly embarrassing tendency to listen/watch things over and over if I like them too much. Let's instead talk about the song Take me to Church by Hozier.

When this song came out, Hozier told everyone what he had written this song about marriage, specifically gay marriage. At the time when he wrote the song, some people were having trouble obtaining the right to get married due to their sex. From what I can tell, the song compares love to religion in a way that ultimately puts love as being more important/valuable. Of course, I don't believe that Hozier was intending to insult religion, but rather he wanted to show how being in love with someone can be, on some levels, a religious experience.

I'm going to be honest here, it took me a while to decide exactly how I felt about the lyrics of this song. I was certainly more into it when I thought that the words were "I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your life." In reality they're, "I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies," which has a bit more of a negative connotation in my opinion. After all, lies aren't good.

However, I have found that if you listen to this song with the idea that it is about a thing, a passion, rather than a person, it becomes much more meaningful. That's where the ballet dance comes in.

Ballet is an extremely difficult sport. The dancers practically ruin their feet and, debatably, their lives, dedicating everything to this medium of dance. Just as Hozier can compare being in love with a person to a religious experience, one can compare a passion of theirs to a religious experience.

If you love something like dancing or maybe blogging, you may dedicate a horribly large portion of your time to it. In a way, you become married to this hobby. Perhaps the "lies" shrine you worship at refers to the unobtainable level of fame you ultimately desire, but will never have. Yet, despite you will never achieve ultimate fame, you love this hobby and will continue dedicating your time and your life to it.

Now that you've read all my words, I would advise going back to the video and watching it again with the idea of this song being about a passion in mind. Maybe you will find a new appreciation for it like I did.

Let's Talk: Consensual Physical Interactions Talk

In light of the recent happenings at MomoCon, I have decided to write about consent. However, I will be straying quite a bit from those specific issues, which were mainly victim blaming, and discuss the yes part of consent rather than the no.

Those of you who have ever talked about any relationships with me know that communication is my 100% must have. If someone doesn’t tell me what they want or what I'm doing that's bothering them, I can't fix it. This rule goes for everyone. Tell me what you want, think, or hate and I'll do the best I can to make it better. I often have trouble understanding why people would rather not talk about how they feel or what they think. After all, I can't possibly know what's going on inside your head until you tell me.

I have noticed this strange misconception about physical relationships: once people are in love, they will know absolutely everything about each other and always know when their significant other is "in the mood." It seems as if this fantasy originated in various entertainment media that wanted an easy way to show the connection between two people. However, it is a long accepted fact that TV, movies, and book characters have a tendency to be unrealistic. In reality, even when you love someone with all your heart, you are still existing in separate bodies.

There is no way for your significant other to truly understand how you feel at all times. Over time, they may learn little cues your body gives off when you are feeling a certain way, but they will never actually be in your head reading your thoughts. So why do we expect them to be? There is this idea of sex or any physically stimulating interaction in which two people wordlessly enjoy the pleasures of each other's bodies, which as I have mentioned, may not be the most plausible way to go about it.

Think about the times that you've been with someone you care for physically in any stimulating way (this includes hand holding and other more G rated interactions). One of the best parts is knowing that you can bring them as much joy as they can bring you, right? Sure, you may be able to tell how they're feeling based on their physical reactions, but it would be a million times easier if we all simply said how we felt. More of that. Less of that. Oh my god keep doing that!

While I was in college, I attended a mandatory seminar called Can I Kiss You by the Date Safe Project. If you checked it out before, I highly encourage you to do so. They focus on what qualifies as consent inside and outside of the bedroom. For example, as I'm sure you can tell by the title, the seminar had a strong emphasis on the beginning of most physical relationships: the kiss.

Although it sounds awkward to ask someone, "can I kiss you?" before leaning in for the big smooch, the benefits seem to outnumber the drawbacks. Think about it. Is it more awkward to have kissed someone who didn't want to be kissed or to have confessed attraction to someone who didn't feel the same way? Neither situation is ideal, but at least in the latter no awkward, unwanted physical interactions occur. Plus, think of how nice it would be to hear "Yes" after asking that question. If they say yes or even immediately kiss you back, you know without a doubt in your mind that they want you too.

So communicate and ask permission. Tell people what you want and what you don't want. There is so much more to communicating in relationships than simply saying no, but we can never experience the joy of saying yes if we're never asked the question to begin with.


Compliments

As a child, I was taught that one of the highest compliments I could achieve as a woman was being thought of as beautiful. I spent hours worrying about how people perceived my physical form and on some level believed that I needed a friend or more-than-friend to confirm whether or not I was attractive. Of course, part of growing up is learning to look at yourself and tell yourself that you're beautiful and to have that be enough, but this point is outside that one. I'm not here to talk about my body image issues, past or present. I want to talk about compliments and how you can make them worthier of being given.

For the sake of my argument today, I am going to focus on the women's side of the issue because that is the only side I grew up experiencing. Even if you do not identify as a women, you may still be able to empathize or at lease sympathize with what I say, so don't let your gender stop your eyes from in taking the information I am about to bestow upon you.

Almost everyone hears "you're getting so big!" while growing up. You could consider it a starter compliment to prepare you for the butt load of compliments you will receive. And like this "starter compliment," almost everyone hears the same compliment for the rest of their growing lives. I have been told by male friends and family that for men, it is typically, "look how smart he's getting" or "look how strong you are." From my own experience I know that for women the compliment tends to be "look how beautiful she is." By giving out these compliments to those specific genders, people imply that the only thing worth being as a man is smart or strong and the only thing worth being as a woman is beautiful. There is a key difference between these compliments, which makes one better, though neither are ideal. The difference is that one is almost entirely involuntary.

My looks are outside of my control for the most part. I can eat well and exercise, wash my face, put on make up, and actually shower, all of which I do, but unless I decide to go under the knife, there are certain aspects of my body I cannot change. Even with a plastic surgeon's help, I can't adjust my bone structure, so why is beauty, something so randomly bestowed by genetics, the ultimate compliment?

My mind can be honed. In fact, we go to school for that very purpose. If I decide to learn more about playing guitar, I can, and in fact, I do. If I decide to become a better writer, I can blog/write and ask for criticism from my friends and family. There are classes I can take to learn different and wonderful things all of which you might find my knowledge of fascinating. When you work with you're brain, you start off with a mostly blank slate, unlike when you're working with your body.

However, even intelligence is not the perfect compliment because there are some aspects of your ability to learn that are genetic. In order to discover what the best compliment is, you must ask yourself why you are giving it out in the first place. Typically when you compliment someone, you are encouraging them to "keep it up." So what is the right thing to compliment people on? Compliment them on their traits such as their dedication, perceptiveness, or punctuality.

All that being said, I am not going to simply throw you out there with a "say better things" without first giving you a few examples. I love being called intelligent, but perhaps a better compliment would be "hardworking." Compliment me on something I can control like my refusal to give up or my fervor for a cause such as feminism. If I can look in the mirror and see a woman full of potential and possibility, then you can see more than physical beauty when you look at me.

So I challenge you. Next time you have the chance to give your friend, special-friend, lover, whatever, a compliment, start with something within them that you love. Tell them how you love their taste in clothes or their willingness to take risks. Perhaps you like their passion for music, science, or life. There are so many things out there worth commenting on besides beauty and general intelligence, and once we start focusing on the parts of ourselves that we have control over, we will feel happier and prouder to be who we are.

And by the way, thanks for reading my blog. It means a lot to me that you take time out of your day to read my little attempts at wisdom. If you have something to add or think I'm wrong, don't hesitate to tell me in the comments below.

Let's Talk Potty Talk

Great weather we're having, huh?

Ok, now that we got the small talk out of the way, let's talk about something deeper. And by that I mean, issues that people don't like to talk about. And by that I mean potty talk. 

For most people growing up, there was nothing more hilarious than potty humor. The word poop itself was worthy of a good two hour laughing session and God help us all if someone farted. As we got older, this humor about bodily functions was deemed inappropriate with a swift, "No potty talk," from the parentals. But why? 

Those of you who know me, know that I am completely open when it comes to what's going on in my body. Usually, the first time I announce "I have to pee" to someone I am answered with, "TMI." Why? What did you think I was going to the bathroom to do? Stand there and look pretty? You pee too. 

Everyone pees and everyone poops. There's a whole book about the latter concept. So why exactly is it so bad to admit that we do these things?

From a young age, the concept of peeing, pooping, and all other bathroom activities were deemed inappropriate to talk about, most likely because they are relatively gross. After all, it is waste coming out of your body, but wait a minute. We're allowed to talk about eating which is when you put things into your body, but not allowed to talk about going to the bathroom which is when you send some of what you ate back into the world. 

It is my personal opinion that things would be much easier if we normalized these bodily functions instead of scandalizing them. There is no reason why we should be ashamed of something unavoidable and entirely natural. I'm not saying that you should announce exactly what you plan to do every time you go to the toilet, but don't be ashamed of the fact you have to use it at all. Be proud of your body for what it can do to keep you alive. No matter how gross it is that you produce waste, it's one of the many processes your body takes part in that keep you alive.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have to pee. 

Being a Hypocrite is Easy

If you have ever been in a position where you have the chance to influence peoples' behavior through your advice, you know what I am talking about. (I'm looking at you, parents.) It is undeniably easy to shell out perfect advice and they go on your merry way to do exactly the opposite of what you just told everyone else to do. It is also undeniably annoying when you find out that someone is being a hypocrite. There is nothing worse than someone who encourages you to work hard while sitting on their butt all day doing nothing.
Part of the struggle I have encountered while creating this blog is not being a hypocrite. Here I am, giving out life advice, not realizing how much of this advice I routinely ignore. But this hypocrite thing is something I have been working on all my life and I do believe that I have improved. So here are some reasons why you don't want to be a hypocrite even though it is easier.

1. People will be more likely to respect your opinion.
• It is a well known fact that no one respects a hypocrite.
2. People will actually follow your advice.
• If people respect what you say, they'll listen to you. You also will be doing more than simply hand out advice, you will be leading by example.
3. You will be more likely to give out good advice. 
• If you look at your advice from a perspective of "is this something I'm capable of," you are less likely to give out advice that is impossible to follow or way too complicated.

Hopefully we can all learn from this blog and stop being hypocrites together.

A Not So Commaical Situation

Today I would like to discuss an extremely serious topic; one that penetrates our lives and goes by unnoticed on a daily if not hourly basis. I'm sure a few of you already know what I am referring to. I apologize if you were expecting a funny or even comical blog, but I am going to have to be serious right now as I deal with this extremely imperative topic: the serial comma.
Some of you may know the serial comma as the Oxford comma. To those of you who have never heard of this crucial piece of punctuation, I will attempt to explain the situation.
The serial comma is a comma used before the "and" in a list of topics. For a few years now, there has been a growing debate on whether or not this comma is useful. As the debate continues, more and more people are switching to the "not useful" side and leaving the serial comma behind in the dust.
In order to shed some light on the reality of the issue, I traveled to a community of abandoned serial commas to get their opinion on the matter.

"I don't know what I'm going to do," one serial comma said to me gravely. "I have a family to support, bills to pay, and a day to fill. The positions for serial commas have decreased so massively that I'm not even certain that a college education will be enough to help my children obtain positions in the English language."

"All we can do is hope," the leader of Working to Hinder Ambiguous Texts (WHAT) informed me. "Hope that the world won't turn their back on us, that someone somewhere will hear our cries, and that the serial commas will find their places in the sentence structure once more."

Of course, not everyone in the community agrees that they are necessary anymore. I met up with the leader of the Working to Hinder Youth (WHY) group - which deals with destroying punctuation to create more ambiguity in the written language - to obtain their point of view.

"The way I see it the more people are confused by the written language the better," the spokes person of WHY explained, impatient to return to their daily routine of deleting serial commas from Wikipedia articles. "If people couldnt understand written language they might look up from those texting devices every once in a while Plus who wants to put in the effort to type one extra comma Were better off without them"

As the unemployment rate increases among serial commas, their community weakens. During my visit, I saw countless commas lying naked and hungry on the streets. Those who did have the resources needed to take care of their families were working unbelievable hours to obtain their income and had none to spare for their suffering brethren.
I encourage you readers to look into this imperative issue yourselves, take your own notes, and see the reality of the matter. A world without serial commas will not make sense, wills will become ambiguous, and the world will cease to exist as we know it. DO NOT LET THIS ISSUE PASS BY UNNOTICED! We all need to be doing everything we can to get to the bottom of the this issue, bring back the serial comma from poverty, and give it a well deserved place in the human language.

The Little Engine That Did

All of your life, your actions, your words, your legacy, boil down to one thing: the way you approach the world. Many of us read the story about the Little Engine that Could when we were children. The blue train successfully achieved the seemingly impossible task of rolling over the mountain with a cart of toys, all the while chanting, "I think I can. I think I can." I believe I speak for us all when I say that the actions of that brave little choo-choo became engraved in all of us.
There is no doubt that the little engine deserves praise for her accomplishments, but perhaps her method is what truly deserves the praise. After all, it was the train's belief in her own strength that allowed her to climb over that mountain and drag the load to its destination.

When encountered with the mountain, the train is discouraged. She knows that bigger trains have tried and failed to make it over that hill and she is not convinced that she is any stronger than them. However, a thought soon ingrains itself into her head and changes everything. First she thinks it. "I think I can." Then she says it. "I think I can." Before you know it, she's doing it, climbing over that mountain with her load of toys behind her. I can only assume that from this day forward, the little engine is fully confident in her abilities and willingly climbs all mountains she approaches. She becomes known in the community for being able to overtake any mountain she climbs and is forever thought of as the strongest train of all.
But it is not her physical strength that is so much greater than her locomotive brethren. It is her mental strength that surpasses them all. By having full faith in her abilities and charging into the problem headlong, the little engine makes the decision to climb the mountain and her actions go from an attempt to what they were always meant to be, actions.

The concept of "do" instead of "try" relates to your mentality going into a problem. Many people are told, "Don't try. Just do," and aren't sure what it means. They think, "I can't control whether or not I fail in the end so the best I can do is try," but that thought process is looking too far into the future. See, the "do, not try" mentality is all about how you enter a problem, not how you end it. 

Once you have succeeded or failed, you can look back on your actions as an attempt, but if you look into something while keeping the idea of failure in the corner of your eye, you may miss some of the traps success throws at you. If you do not face the problem headlong and believe that you can achieve your goals, you will be at a disadvantage. 

If you want to make sure that you are successful in all possible aspects of your life, live. Don't say, "I'll do my best," or, "I'm trying." Say, "I will," and then do. Not only will you feel more confident in yourself, but your likelihood of success will increase tenfold. 

When the train went over that mountain, she didn't think to herself, "I might be able to." She had confidence in her abilities and began approaching the problem by changing her method of thought. She instilled confidence in her self and pulled that cart over the mountain. So next time you are faced with a horribly steep mountain to lug a cart of toys over, think to yourself, "I think I can," and climb. 

Breaking Up with the Love Story

My true love is my best friend. Throughout the years, our friendship has grown into something I never knew existed. He makes me laugh, smile, supports me, and it always willing to give a helping hand. In fact, he helped me write this post. But we are not dating.
From the very first day we met, there was nothing between us but friendship. Our sexual orientations align so that romance is possible between us, but yet it never happens. We are often teased constantly by people who think we should date because hey, it's a man and a woman who can be sexually attracted to each other, why wouldn't they date?
When you have the whole world telling you that your platonic feelings for someone are wrong, it can make you second guess yourself. My friend and I discussed the idea of a romantic relationship between us on multiple occasions and every time we came to the conclusion that it was a bad idea. We simply aren't romantically compatible.
However, while coming to that conclusion, we did a thorough investigation of our relationship. I am not embarrassed to say that he is absolutely one of the most important people in my life. The thought of living without him is too painful to even consider and he has expressed similar feelings towards me. We don't need romance between us to make our relationship one worth having. We are happier as friends than we would ever be as a couple.
So why is it that every time we turn on the tv or a movie, we are bombarded with stories about a male and female friend that fall in love and live happily ever after? Maybe the story is easier to write. After all, the notion that two people would rather die than not be allowed to be friends is absurd, right? Maybe not as absurd as the notion that two people would want to die because they are not allowed to marry.
This post is my long winded way of saying that friendship is extraordinarily important. I will even argue that friendship is more important than romantic relationships. There is a wonderful quotation by Hayao Miyazaki in which he says, 

"I've become skeptical of the unwritten rule that just because a boy and a girl appear in the same feature, a romance must ensue. Rather I want to portray a slightly different relationship, one where the two mutually inspire each other to live - if I'm able to, then perhaps I'll be closer to portraying a true expression of love."

Throughout my life, I have found friendship to be the truest form of love that there is. I know that no matter what, I can depend on my friends to love me and be there for me. Of course we will have fights and we won't always agree, but at the end of the day, they are the ones that inspire me to live.

Put Yourself First No Matter Who You Are

Small disclaimer: Now, I know right away that some of you reading this will be like, "No I have to put God first!" and if you feel that way, then by all means put God first. What I am referring to only counts for people on earth.

Throughout life, one of the most important things you will ever learn is to put yourself first.
Those of you who have flown know about the whole speech the flight attendant gives and those of you who haven't flown have probably seen it on a movie. If you still don't know what I'm talking about, essentially the flight attendant explains where the exits are, how to put on your seat belt, and how various safety devices work. One of these safety devices is the oxygen masks.
If the air cabin pressure decreases and the amount of breathable air diminishes (or something), these masks fall down in front of you from the ceiling. Without fail, every time you hear the flight attendant speech, you will hear them tell you to put your mask on first before assisting others. This same information is also located on the safety pamphlet and if your flight attendant speech comes with a video, you will most likely see a parent putting on their own mask before helping their child.
So why do you have to put on your own mask first?
If you think about it, the reason will become fairly obvious. Let's say you're surrounded by a crowd of 10 people that need oxygen masks, but for some reason these people are unable to put them on. In the first scenario, you immediately leap into action and start putting masks on the other people, but only manage to assist 5 out of the 10 people before becoming light headed and passing out. In the second scenario, you take a few seconds to attach your own mask before helping the other people and manage to save all of them. If you do not put on your own mask first, your ability to help people decreases dramatically.
The same principle can be applied to other aspects of your life. If you do not take care of yourself before taking care of others, you will find yourself unable to help as many people. It may seem heroic and wonderful to leap in there without your own oxygen mask, but in reality, it hurts everyone. You don't see firefighters jumping onto the firetruck before they equip their safety gear. Maybe one person is worse off because they take those extra few minutes, but in the end, more lives are saved than would have been otherwise.
Now let's talk about a current event: Zayn left One Direction.
Tons of fans are angry about Zayn's departure from the band, but I think it's a good thing. I know that the music will change and the other members will have to work a little bit harder to compensate for their bandmate's absence, but Zayn did exactly what I have been talking about and put himself first. By leaving the band, Zayn became a living example as someone who is willing to put their needs before others. And I am all for leading by example.
There's no saying how exactly this change is going to affect the band. Maybe Zayn will return some day or maybe he won't, but I am confident that if Zayn had stayed and continued pushing himself when he needed to take a break, the band would have been worse off. Perhaps Zayn's staying could have resulted in the dissolution of the band entirely. I'm sure their fans would be even more upset about that.
So next time you think about getting mad at Zayn or anyone else in similar positions, take a step back and remember how important it is to put yourself first. Admire them and follow their example. There are a lot of people who need help putting their masks on out there and you won't be able to help them if you aren't breathing too.

Some Things You May Not Know About My Blog/Me

1. When I started this blog, I was 18 (that was a year ago)
2. I came up with the name of this blog a few years before actually deciding to make it. 
3. When I started this blog, I didn't want to advertise it at all. I told my friends that it was because I wanted people to find it naturally, but in reality I was too afraid to show it to anyone else because I was afraid they wouldn't like it. 
4. I have had a blog before, but I did not blog as myself. It was more of a story than a blog. 
5. I actually intend to blog well this time. 
6. Part of why I am giving my blog another try is because a friend I really look up to has had major success with her blog and she seems to enjoy doing it. 
7. Another part is because I want to be brave enough to express my opinion. 
8. I often have trouble sharing my opinion because I don't want to offend anyone, but I have learned that sharing your opinion is part of growing it. If you cannot defend how you feel, maybe you should investigate more into why you feel that way. And maybe I can help change someone's opinion or make them more firmly rooted in what they feel by sharing how I see the world. 
9. I have multiple unpublished blogs about how I have't published a blog in a while. 
10. Before I fell off the face of the blogosphere, I was working on a review of the movie Noah. I never finished it, however, because I couldn't bring it to a good conclusion. It was a good movie, though. 

I have grown a lot in the year since I started my blog and I still have a lot of growing to do. This post is the first official blog in my newest attempt to actually post here regularly. Wish me luck. 

I am back!

Ok so it has been a very long time since I last blogged. I think that the main problem was that I didn't really know how to blog/what I was blogging about. As some of you may know, it can be difficult to accomplish something if you aren't entirely certain what you want your end result to be.
When I started this blog, I started it because I thought I should probably have a blog because a lot of people do. I thought that at first I would publish all sorts of things and maybe eventually settle into one type of post, but instead I gave up entirely. You see, when you have a whole world of things to blog about, it can be easier to simply not pick at all than to try any of them. Now, however, all that is going to change.
The first change I'm going to make is that I'm going to set myself a schedule. I am going to post something every Tuesday from now on (this blog does not count as this week's blog). My hope is that having a set time period to stick to will encourage me to actually write a blog.
The second thing I'm going to change is that I am going to write a blog every single week. This change is different than the last, I promise. You see, most of the time before I would write out multiple blogs at once and publish them slowly, but stop adding to that collection until I was out of blogs to post. Then I would be out of practice from not writing and end up not posting for a while.
The third and final change (so far) that I'm going to make is that I'm going to pick a theme. I guess you could call this blog an opinion blog. My plan is to write about things I observe as I continue through life and my various thoughts on things. I currently am considering mostly social issues, but I may end up posting about current events if the inspiration hits.

So there you have it. Starting tomorrow, I will be posting weekly.

Forgiveness

Humans are faulty creatures. It is a fact of life. They make huge mistakes and, if they know what's good for them, they learn from these mistakes. However, as we all know, mistakes don't only affect the people who make them. Mistakes can affect a few people or a few billion people. Those who were hurt by the mistake are often put in a difficult position of needing to decide whether or not to forgive. 

Before I get too into this, I want to discuss what exactly it means to forgive someone. Dictionary.com would say: 

But that definition is a bit too vague. There are many more facets to forgiveness. For example: Does forgiveness mean only accepting an apology but no longer allowing the person to be in your life? Does forgiveness require you to give the person another chance? Does forgiveness require you to trust them completely when you give them another chance? 

I think the answer is that it depends on the person and situation, but for the sake of this blog, I will be focusing on the type of forgiveness that you give when intending to give the person another chance. 

Forgiving someone is hard and trusting them is even harder, but how do you know when it is ok to forgive someone and when their bad deeds are too much? Unfortunately, I will not be supplying a concrete answer to this question as I don't believe one exists. However, here are a few things to keep in mind when considering whether or not to forgive someone: 

1. The past is the past and nothing is going to change it.

A hard fact of life is that the past is concrete. Until we invent a time machine, everything that has happened is unchangeable. Sometimes forgiving someone for something is difficult because you are mad at what they have done, but if you see that they have learned from their mistake and are ready to move on with their life, maybe it is time for you to put the past behind you as well and give them another chance. 

2. Past actions can be reflective of future actions.

All of that being said, if someone has made the same mistake multiple times, it may not be a good idea to forgive them again and risk getting hurt. Humans are creatures of habit. We tend to find things we enjoy and stick with them as much as we can and sometimes this tendency can cause us to do terrible things. If the person you are considering forgiving is a repeat offender, take a long time to consider whether or not they are really as ready to move on as you are. And if you do choose to forgive them, maybe you should be cautious about your relationship. Make sure to consider whether or not their past actions put you or your loved ones in danger or if future actions could hold that threat. 

3. Your relationship with the person before hand. 

Sometimes you meet people who seem to make life great or just good. But eventually you start noticing a roller coaster pattern. Your relationship is good and then terrible and then good and then awful. It goes on and on until you're tired of it, but the goods make you feel like it's worth it. If you are in the position where you have the chance to forgive them or not, you have the chance to get out. Think about the past you've had with them and consider whether this is a person you really want to forgive. It doesn't even matter what they've done in this case. It's all about the relationship itself. Even if it is a family member that you are considering forgiving. If they are more trouble than they're worth, they aren't worth your forgiveness. 

No matter what you decide, make sure that your decision is yours alone and not influenced directly by the person you are considering forgiving. They have no say in this. Forgiveness is a very personal thing and should not be taken lightly in certain circumstances. But even if you decide not to forgive them, make sure that you are able to forgive in your mind and move on in your life. Forgiving someone in your mind does not mean that you have to tell them that they are forgiven or that you have to show your forgiveness to them in any way. It is simply a way for you to continue in your own life. If you dwell on someone else's mistakes, you will find that moving forward becomes a lot more like dragging your feet through solid concrete.