Time: There's More than You Think

Yes, this is yet another post about technology and its affects on my life. I apologize if these are starting to annoy you, but it is my current project. I promise I will post about something else soon. Anyways, onto my blog: 

I have learned something important about time recently. If you do not worry about it, if you detach yourself from it, it lasts longer. Technology makes escaping time nearly impossible. Every technological face we look at has the time on it somewhere. We have become completely and entirely obsessed with time. 

By no means do I intend to say that we should rid the world of clocks and just start staring at the sun for guidance. The ability to tell time is one of the things that makes humans great. It makes us efficient and helps us to better understand the world around us. However, I do believe that time has begun to control more in our lives than it should. 

When I spend two hours curled up reading a book, it feels longer then if I had just watched four hour long episodes of some tv show, but it is the good kind of longer. The good times are drawn out when I am no longer constantly eyeing the ever moving hands. I can let myself stop speeding around for a moment and simply live. It is impossible to live in the now if you are always watching the clock for its next change. 

If I have something to do at 4, but I want to read, I will set a timer on my phone for whatever time I need to stop, and read. I do not need to be constantly checking the minutes and calculating how many more pages I can read. I let time pass as it will and for that it rewards me. 

I realize this blog may sound a little silly. Two hours are always two hours, they can't possibly become four, but when you are not just watching them pass, they go by at a more acceptable speed. I always hated the feeling of looking up from my computer to see that the sun has suddenly set. When I'm reading, I watch it set until I have to turn on the lights because it is dark outside. I feel like I am still part of the world and time passes more at my pace. 

I believe that if we could all stop looking at our watches every five seconds and let time pass as it wants to, we will find life more enjoyable. We will worry less about the days we wasted because they will have felt more like full days. For me, there is nothing like experiencing the sun go down. I hate when it is just suddenly gone. I want to watch my day pass and fill every second of it with whatever needs to be done and whatever I want to do. That's how you make more of the time you have. 

Writer's Block Reveals Problem

Something you might not know about me is that I love to write. Unfortunately, like all writers, I go in and out of writer's block. I'm currently going through a really tough episode now. You see, there's this story I've been trying to write. It was inspired by a podcast by Stuff You Should Know about cryogenic freezing; if it's possible and what it is. At one part, they discussed how one method was to only freeze (note: freeze is the wrong word. They corrected themselves on it so many times in the podcast, but I can't for the life of me remember the correct word.) only the head with the brain still inside. The idea was the freeze the brain, but it was too much trouble to get it out of the head. They talked about how this would only work if we could create a human body for them to use once they are brought back to life. So I was inspired.
Picture this: a young man, fresh out of his "transfer," as I called it, and waiting for his romantic female counterpart. He admires his new, younger face, about twenty years old as he waits, anticipating what it will feel like to be young with his girlfriend again. Finally she emerges, but something is wrong. Her body is too young: 13. The doctors apologize and say that there was a mistake 7 years along the growth of the first body and that this was the best they could do. When she asks to transfer back into her old body, they inform her that it is not possible because the body has already been broken down into the parts needed to create more bodies. The rest of the short story would follow how the couple dealt with this problem. I never really go that far.
The problem is, I couldn't seem to make the words come out. As you can see, I have an idea and, for the most part, a plan. But as soon as I put my fingers to the keys and began typing, I could only create two paragraphs before going back, deleting it all, and starting over, deleting it all, trying again, then giving up and going to watch youtube or NetFlix. It isn't a problem of not trying or lacking follow through, it's a problem of not knowing how. I know the point I want to make and what I want to leave my readers feeling, but sometimes I don't know how to write the words to create these results or any results. I have seen this problem happen a lot in my life recently. I know what my goals are, but not how to get to them.
Up until tonight, I thought that college would be the solution to everything. It would be the thing that finally made me work hard, pay attention, live in the world around me, but I'm starting to believe that's not true. I'm the only one that can make myself do these things, but how? I suppose the only thing to do is try. So for my first attempt, I am going to try to become aware of the world around me.
A few months ago, I saw this video, Look Up by Gary Turk.

To be honest, when I started watching it, I was sure that this video was just going to be another lecture about how people are too absorbed in technology and how it is completely evil, but thankfully the video is not that at all. In fact, it inspired me. One day, while I was in the doctor's waiting room, I stopped playing minesweeper, my go-

to when alone, and started looking around. I saw a blonde woman sitting beside me with earbuds in. A brunette in front of me, typing eagerly into her phone. And another brunette to my left, reading on her IPad. To my right, lay an untouched stack of magazines. Everyone prefered their phone.

I wish I could say that I spoke to one of them and now we are best friends or something, but I can't. I did not speak, I merely observed, but if I'm being honest, that is more than I have done in a long time. Since then, I have gotten better at looking at the world instead of my phone, but I am not where I want to be. I want to be comfortable enough with the world around me to speak to a complete stranger. Maybe make them laugh or let them make me laugh. Either way, I now smile at people when I pass them on the street. Eye contact is good. It lets people know they're not alone. 

So I guess what I am trying to say in this terribly long blog, is that I want to make a change for myself. I want to be the person I want to be rather than simply day dreaming of the day I will be her. I want to write that story and post it on this blog by next week and I want it to at least make sense. That's really all I can ever ask for from my stories. Maybe my blogs too. We will see! 

Until then, look up, smile, laugh, be in the world. Maybe you'll make a new friend. Heck, maybe you'll meet me. 

The Importance of Good Grooming

College is fun. I love going to class and I love making new friends and having new experiences. The people here are, for the most part, absolutely amazing. I don't think I've ever been around a more polite group of people. It really surprised me at first. The campus is warm and welcoming, and the best part of all, no one gives a sh*t about what you wear!
Most people walk around in shorts and a t-shirt. Occasionally you see jeans or a tank top or both, but very few people walk around in dresses or fully planned outfits unless they're not just going to class. In the winter, I'm expecting to see a lot of sweat pants and sweat shirts and hoodies. Toms, flip-flops, Chacos, and Sperrys rule the feet. There are a few other shoes, but you won't see anyone walking around in heels or some other painful contraption. But despite all this casualty, everyone still looks good.
You see, dear reader, there is more to looking good than the clothes you wear. There is also the way you hold yourself and how you take care of your body. If you wash your hair and brush it every day, you can get away with throwing it in a pony tail or sloppy bun and it will still look good. If you wash your face, put lotion on your skin, trim your nails, all things that really only take a few seconds, you will look good! But here's the weird part: none of that stuff works if you still feel unattractive.
That's right, ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between, confidence. Confidence is quite possibly the most attractive feature on a person. However, few people can gain confidence in their appearance by simply rolling out of bed and looking in the mirror every day. For most people I know, confidence is gained by taking care of your body by practicing good grooming in whatever ways you feel are necessary. Some of my friends straighten their hair every day, I just let mine air dry when I shower and brush it every day before I go out. I have friends that don't feel complete without a little mascara. Personally, I like to take a few minutes every week to file and buff my finger nails because I think it's important for my hands to look good. Whatever floats your boat! Just make sure to find what you need to do to feel good about yourself and do it. Once you feel clean and attractive, everyone else will think you're gorgeous too.

My Utopia

Everything in this blog is purely opinion. I was inspired to attempt to create my own version of Utopia after reading The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas by Ursula Le Guin. As some of you may know, I am a huge fan of dystopian stories and the idea of utopia and what it would take to create it has always been interesting to me. For this blog, I will not talk about how the utopia was created, but about what the end result is. I do not necessarily think that this would be a good place to live, it's just an idea about what a utopia in the future could look like.

A Utopia is a place where nothing is bad. Everyone smiles. Everyone laughs. Everyone is happy. Of course, children still cry when they fall and scrape their knee. The death of a loved one is still a sad occasion. But hunger is not felt. Disease and death are not feared. All hate is fleeting and love is abundant. There is a strong sense of "help your neighbor and your neighbor will help you." That's how these people live. 

Everyone lives in the exact same house regardless of job. There are no promotions in jobs. Once you reach the age of 18, you are placed in whatever career you choose. It is surprisingly balanced. Most children tend to follow in their parent's footsteps. Most parents have the same career. Once the career is chosen, the young adult is tested and placed in the position most fitting to their skills. There, they are happy. It works out well for them. 

Responsibility for the children is shared throughout the community. The child goes to one home every night, but throughout the day they go wherever and are watched by whomever is available. There is no marriage. A person may have children with whomever they wish or choose not to have children at all. They may live with anyone, but they may not claim possession. Everything is shared. Jealousy is rarely felt. 

There is no religion. It was decided long ago that it is easier to doubt something than nothing. Everyone is told from the beginning of their lives that there is nothing after death. The idea upsets some people at first, but they soon learn not to care. When asked about how the earth came to be, they are told, "I don't know" and are forced to live with that response. As they grow older, they accept it. The only science that is done is involving medicine. 

The one problem with this society is that there is still disease. It can make a life very hard, but the community is always there to help the sick person live until the end. Life is valued immensely because they can expect nothingness after death. Best be happy now and save the tears for the eternal darkness that awaits. 

The laws are simple. Do no hurt others. Do not covet others. Do not hate beyond the recommended healthy time period, a day and 2 hours.  Do not do anything to upset anyone. And so on. Those who break the laws are cast out. There is technically a vote, but it is always unanimous. After generations of living in this way, the people are happy and unwilling to change. The desire to stay is what keeps them happy. And they like it that way. 

Oops I'm in College

One day I was basking in the summer sun and now I'm cramped in a tiny dorm room. That being said, I love it here so far. I don't mind the small space, even if it is smaller than I expected. I'm loving the responsibility and so far I've actually been really good at keeping things clean. Turns out I don't like living in a messy space. Who knew?
Sorry I haven't updated in, like, forever. The whole moving to college thing kind of took over my life for a few weeks. I promise that I will be getting more out soon, though. I have some blogs composed and ready, they just need a final read through and I will send them out. Hopefully college will give me more things to write about than movies and books, which I love writing about but aren't supposed to be the focus of my blog.
My college has suite bathrooms so four girls are sharing a too-small bathroom with two sinks and a toilet closet, but it is manageable. The dorm I'm staying in has smaller rooms than the others so it is mandatory to loft your beds. As I type this I am able to effortlessly reach up and touch the ceiling. Falling out was a small concern, but I did not fall out of bed my first night so I am more confident in my ability to stay in bed.
Anyways, I will post a more decent blog up as soon as I can. College likes to keep you busy when you first arrive.

Life of Pi Movie vs. Book

Spoiler Free:
Life of Pi is an amazing story with extraordinary detail, almost enough to make you believe the story is true. In fact, if I did not know that it was fiction, I would be tempted to believe it all. The movie does not compare well to the book and I would advise not to watch the movie shortly after reading the book. I made this mistake and could not convince myself to enjoy the movie. The movie takes on a more lighthearted approach and fails to delve into the more serious aspects. It also messed up one of my favorite parts. The book, however, it fantastic and you should read it.

Spoilers now:
This part is mostly me ranting about how the movie was not as good as the book.

I originally saw the movie before I read the book, but it had been a long time. I remembered that there was a romance and, of course, a tiger, that the hyena had killed the orangutan, a zebra had died, the tiger had popped out suddenly, there was a scene with a mirror-like ocean, a glowing whale, and an island with a tooth on it. The romance did not exist at all in the book and I honestly don't think it was necessary in the movie. I understand that they were using it as a way to pull in the audience and tie up the strings at the end with the whole "I wish I had gotten the chance to say good-bye" thing, but it simply subtracted from the plot and the writers hardly dealt with it at all after Pi left for Canada.
The mirror-like ocean does not happen and neither does the glowing whale. I guess those were just added for cool affects, but they were not even that great of effects. Ok, the mirror-like ocean was beautiful, but the whale didn't look as spectacular as it could have. In fact, everything was relatively poor animation for what they were trying to achieve. And he tiger growled way too much. In the book, every single sound Richard Parker (RP) made had some emotional significance which was carefully explained to the reader. In the movie, RP just growled a lot every chance he got. It completely destroyed the relationship between Pi and RP.
The movie has RP completely under Pi's control after RP bites down on a stick and doesn't like it, whereas the book takes the time to show Pi slowly training RP, but RP isn't trained liked a circus animal until the end of the book when they are on the island. In the movie, Pi uses a stick to tap where he wants RP to go way before a relationship like that should have been formed. The movie also displays RP as being more of a two dimensional character. He growls and obeys. In the book, RP goes through an emotional journey as much as Pi does.
I also feel like Pi's character was messed up in the movie. In the book, he is not nearly as emotional in the end. At least twice during the interview section, the following words are exchanged.
"I lost my whole family."
"We're sorry about that."
"Not as much as I am."

Whereas in the movie they say:
"I lost my whole family..."
"I'm sorry."

There is emotion where there should be none. In the movie, Pi is still upset and not at all hardened by his experience. At the very end they do state that no one survived in the ocean longer than Pi, but I do not remember them stating exactly how long. I may be wrong, but I still feel like that concept was simply glossed over rather than properly addressed. The movie was more of an adventure than an emotional journey.
Now for the part that made me angry: the movie completely screwed up the carnivorous island.
The island was my favorite part in the book because it was really cool and believable. The concept was simple. Something in the algae turned the water from salt to fresh and at night, without the sun's rays, the island became acidic and digested everything that touched the surface. The fish died in the little pools because they swam into fresh water. In the movie, Pi says that every single thing on the island became acidic, including the pools and that's what killed and digested the fish. Then they do one worse thing and zoom out to see the island glowing. Immediately this scene takes the island from believable to magical. It becomes mystical rather than real.
The movie also failed to explain the meerkats. All it would have taken was for Pi to briefly state, "decades of existing on that island had bread out the fight or flight instinct. The meerkats saw no threat in us even when we attacked them." It would have taken 30 seconds at the most and helped the audience understand the island so much better. I remember the first time I watched the movie and I didn't understand the meerkats. In fact, I hardly understood the island even when Pi explained it.

I will give the movie one thing, though, I did like that they gave us as small connection with the Buddhist sailor that the Zebra represented. It helped the audience connect more with the second story, and while it was not necessary in the book, it did not take away from he movie so I liked it. Well done, movie.

Ok, that's my rant. Please keep in mind that I understand a lot of the decisions the writers made when adapting the book into a movie. All in all, it is a good movie, but not nearly as good as the book. Show the movie to your children and read the book as an adult. I have nothing against watching the movie, but as I said before, I would advise not watching it soon after reading the book. They do not compare well. If you feel like watching someone else make fun of the movie, check out this video by CinemaSins.

Technology's Toll

When I first began trying to cut back on technology, I only stopped using it in public. I thought that this would be enough and that I would have more stories to tell this way, and while I do have more stories, it did not really have the effect I was hoping. I was still addicted to my computer and everything it brought me. I'd get home and start it up right away to make sure I hadn't missed anything in the little time I was gone. Then a few weeks ago my access to the computer was limited simply because I was really busy. This week I have had less to do, but I actually have not been on my computer. After realizing all the things I was missing by spending my days with my nose to the screen, I no longer craved the mindless enjoyment it could produce. 

As a child, I loved to read. My parents had to come in and tell me to go to sleep almost every night. At one point they even put a special lock on my lights so that I was unable to turn them on when the time came for sleep. Of course, I found ways around all this and the reading continued. But when I got my computer, the reading stopped and changed all together. For a long time, I stopped reading books and started reading Wikipedia articles or other things. I made friends online and spent hours every night talking to them through gmail chat. Eventually, one of my in person friends introduced me to the gaming videos on YouTube which eventually led to many subscriptions to gamers and various vloggers. At one point, I didn't even like most of the videos I was watching. I just needed something to do. 

My book collection suffered. I went from having advanced books for my age to only books from my childhood, far below my rising reading level. Why would I read and imagine the images when I could just find  video in which they are created for me? It's far less work. I stopped writing. Without reading to inspire me to create my own story, I didn't see a reason to. Not to mention that the short, 3-15 minute videos I had been watching had lowered my attention span immensely. I no longer had the capacity to write even when I was inspired. It was too hard. So I stopped. 

Last week, I read. I finished a book called Ready Player One for my college summer reading. Without that assignment, I may not be reading today. It was an amazing book and brought back all of the wonderful memories from when I used to read. When I finish a great book, I get a rush. I can't stop smiling for the next ten minutes and I walk around in a happy daze. If I finish a book right before I try to go to sleep... well I won't be sleeping for a while. This week I am reading Life of Pi. I had been meaning to read this book for a long time after seeing the movie, but never got around to it because I stopped reading. So far, I'm really enjoying it. 

Anyways, I know most people do not have the passion for reading I do. I do not by any means intend to say that technology has taken everyone away from books. Maybe there are some people who have mastered balancing books and technology like I am learning to do. However, I do think that technology has taken something more concrete away from all of us. Whatever it is will differ from person to person, but we all have something that we simply cannot do or achieve online; we need the real world. Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to go back to my reading. 

How To: Write a Good Ending

I cannot tell you how many times I have read something I absolutely adored only to be left with a bad taste in my mouth afterwards. Every single good quality of the book gets shoved to the back of my mind thanks to the terrible ending the story had. Of course, ending a story is one of the hardest parts. You want to leave your audience happy they read, watched, or listened to your story. Follow these 5 rules and you are guaranteed to have a good ending.

Side Note: These rules do not necessarily apply to ending a book in the middle or beginning of a series. These apply to the ultimate ending of the story.

1. Always leave the audience wanting more.
Despite the fact your story is over, if you tie up every loose end, your audience will move on with their life instead of continuing to think about your story long after it ended. This is not to say that you should end with your character dangling over a cliff or some nonsense, but the story should end before every single problem is solved. All major plot points should be tied up, but the character should still have some challenges awaiting them after the story. For example, you might finish a distopian novel by toppling the corrupt government, but not discussing how they rebuild their world or you could end a romance novel with the new couple preparing themselves to meet the parents but not showing them meeting the parents. In other words, leave a little mystery in your wake.

2. Do not leave the audience confused.
If you need to take a couple paragraphs more to explain a plot point, go ahead and do it. One of the worst types of endings is the kind that leaves you going, "wait what?" Make sure you settle all major plot points. The audience should be completely aware of what has happened to the character throughout the story. Like I said before, don't end with your character dangling off a cliff. Show how they get back onto the cliff. And unless your story calls for it, do not quickly sum it up because you do not feel like typing out the actions. By that I mean, don't say something like "Then Kristy climbed back up and everyone was ok."

3. Don't force a happy ending where one does not belong.
It's true that if given the choice between a happy or sad ending, most people would choose happy, but as seen in every book you read in high school, sad endings sell. Your goal is to make your audience feel something. The emotion you choose doesn't matter as long as it is directed at the story and not at you. You want your audience mad that Chelsea chose Scott over Brody, not mad that you screwed up the ending. I cannot tell you how many books I've read and movies I've watched whose endings left me underwhelmed because they had been completely forced. It's not always logical for the two characters to end up happy together and that's ok. That being said, don't force a sad ending either. Let your story decide.

4. Give your audience some closure.
If a dear character died at some point in the story, make sure to address that and let the other characters move on so the audience can do the same. Do not simply assume that the audience knows a funeral happened. Mention it and say how the character felt better having attended or whatever needs to be said. Your audience cannot be left still grieving or your story will automatically become disliked. Sad is ok, depressing is not. Also make sure any terrible jerks that need to be dealt with are handled. You don't want to leave your audience wondering "what about that jerk form the beginning that did something bad and vanished forever?" All characters need closure.

5. Do whatever your story needs.
Every story is different. Maybe you want your audience to go away knowing exactly how your characters ended up. Maybe you want your story to end with explicit narration. Maybe you don't want some sub plots to get tied up because that's the magic your story needs. Do whatever you need to do to end your story with the same quality, if not better quality, work that you used in the rest of the story.

I have never met anyone that told me endings were the easiest parts for them to write. I know that when I write I cycle through multiple ending options before I get there as my story evolves and my characters change. Some people go into writing with an ending already in mind and it never changes. But whether you write your ending at the end or the beginning, make sure it's something to remember.

Beauty and the Beast: The Moral of the Story

Beauty and the Beast is one of those timeless tales that everyone at least knows the premise of: beautiful girl meets ugly beast, they fall in love, he becomes a handsome prince, and they all live happily ever after. People will usually tell you that the moral of the story is that beauty is on the inside or that it's what's on the inside that counts. And while both those statements are true, they may not be the actual moral to the story. Let's think about the original Beauty and the Beast for a moment.
Belle's father, whose name is not mentioned, goes off to salvage a ship that could bring him out of bankruptcy after he lost a whole fleet of ships and their merchandise. Believing that he will return a rich man, he offers to bring his three daughters any gifts they desire. Belle's two sisters ask for jewels and gowns, but Belle asks for a single rose because they do not grow where she lives.
The father becomes lost and finds himself at the Beast's castle. There is no talking furniture. There is, however, a feast set out seemingly for him and everything else he needed to be refreshed and continue on the road. As he left the castle, he found a beautiful rose bush and took a rose for Belle. The Beast saw this and appears in front of the man, enraged that Belle's father had taken advantage of the Beasts hospitality and then tried to steal from him.
The Beast says that he must kill Belle's father, but Belle's father begs for the Beast to at least let him go say good bye to his daughters. The Beast agrees and lets the man take the rose for Belle too and gives the father jewels and gowns for his other two daughters. However, once he gets home, Belle finds out what happened and runs away to beg the Beast to let her take his place. The Beast agrees, but lets her live in the castle rather than killing her.
The Beast and Belle get along swimmingly. In fact, the Beast proposes to Belle every night, but she always declines saying she only thinks of him as a friend. Eventually Belle becomes extremely homesick and begs the Beast for a chance to see her family again. The Beast, being in love with her, agrees and gives her a ring and a mirror. The ring has the power to take her back to the castle once she turns it around her finger three times. The mirror gives her the ability to see anything she desires. However, she must return within the week or else unspecified bad things will happen.
Belle visits her family and her sisters are enraged to see her so happy and healthy. They find out that Belle must return by a certain date and convince her to stay one more day by secretly cutting onions to make themselves cry.  Belle agrees to stay another day, but feels guilty when she misses her deadline and looks through the mirror to the beast. The mirror shows the Beast lying dying by the rose bush. Belle immediately uses the ring to return to him and professes her love which, we all know, turns him human. Then they get married.
The part that throws me off here is that Belle rejected the Beast every time until he was either dead or no longer ugly. She may have been able to love him, but she was unable to see past all the bad parts. So, the moral I take from this story is: "If you love someone hard enough, they will become physically attractive."
Maybe Belle just didn't want to marry the Beast because, well, imagine the children that would result. Still, she didn't have to add the "we're just friends" part. Surely she could have explained any concerns instead of rejecting him?
There it is. The moral of Beauty and the Beast. Next time you are around someone that you are not physically attracted to, just love them and they will completely transform. It's almost like magic.

Eyes Wide Open

For some reason it has taken me ages to getting to write this blog. My plan originally was to post things like this every few weeks, but so far the idea has only been residing in my mind. Until now. Remember the blog I wrote about looking up for your electronics and connecting with the world around you? If not, you can read it here. Well I've been doing my very very best not to be a hypocrite and I thought I'd share two of the experiences I had as a result.
The first one happened only a few days after I posted the blog. I was still working on detaching myself from my phone and getting comfortable with actually looking at my surroundings openly. I don't mean staring at people, of course, but looking around and taking it in slowly and carefully and politely. So, like all people do at some point, I had a doctor's appointment. I'm sure most of us can agree that one of the worst things about all doctor's appointments is the whole waiting forever part. This appointment was no exception.
I finished filling out the countless forms and signing things saying I wouldn't sue them if they accidentally killed me, standard stuff, and instinctively started playing my go to game: minesweeper. Great game, by the way. It requires logic, but does not take your whole brain away from the world. Anyways, I was half way done with plugging in my ear buds to listen to some music when I realized that I was totally not doing what I had told myself I would. Here I was at my first chance to deny technology and live and I was going to immediately give up? I don't think so.
I took out my ear buds, closed out of minesweeper, locked my phone, and put it securely in my purse. Then came the awkward part, looking at something other than my hands in my lap. I considered reading a magazine, but none of them interested me. I now realize that probably would have been my best option anyways, but at the time I was not exactly sure what to do. Unfortunately, nothing super entertaining happened. All of the other people in there were on smart phones or tablets/IPads except one woman who went into a corner and started talking angrily into the phone. I can't remember what about anymore.
The second experience occurred a few weeks later when I was waiting for my coffee at the mall. The woman in front of me had been sent by her co-workers to get all of their coffee orders. She was struggling to figure out which emerging coffee beverage was for which of her friends when she said to everyone around her, "I'm sorry, I'm not very good with coffee." I saw my chance and truthfully replied, "Oh, me neither."
She smiled at me and said, "Ask me to fix a computer and I can do it, but ask me about what any of these drinks are and I'd have no idea."
I laughed and agreed.
We talked a little bit more about our incompetence with coffee beverages and how we basically just try what our friends have until we figure out how to pronounce the name of what we like. I didn't get her name or come away with a new friend, but I did get the chance to talk to someone nice and hopefully brighten their day a bit. I know she brightened mine.
So far the non-technology thing is a success for me. I do feel like I have been experiencing the world more. Still, I find it difficult to tear myself away from my computer at home, but I am proud to say I am more likely to pull out a book when bored in public than my phone. Baby steps. Baby steps.

Shoes

My friend Joseph has some seriously old ratty white sneakers. Ok, so they're only 4 years old. That's still very old for a pair of shoes that get worn every chance possible. Joseph loves his shoes because they're practical and comfortable. At one point they were completely white, but as the years went by, they picked up various bits of color. There's a green and blue stain on the side of one of them. I think it came from when we were painting the stage in preparation of our performance of A Year with Frog and Toad in which he played Frog. Great show. So great, in fact, that Joseph likes to carrying it around on his shoes it seems.
If you happen to be around him when he takes them off you might notice that the inside back is almost completely gone. In fact, it's so bad that it's actually worn a hole in one of his socks. Yet, he still claims his shoes are comfortable. They're plain enough for him to wear to nice occasions like Church and then anywhere else he needs to go afterwards. "People don't look at my feet that much," he says.
A couple years ago, I too had some shoes I adored. Mine were white, grey, and light purple sneakers (no picture, sorry).  Any time I couldn't wear my flip flops (which are still my favorite), I wore those sneakers. Eventually they became worn out, but not nearly as worn out as Joseph's. They just lost all traction and stopped being comfortable. I think I had them about three years. I'm sure mine would have fallen apart like Joseph's in another year or so. Anyways, I managed to convince my parents that I needed new sneakers and got some awesome shoes.

You see, the moment I stepped into those overprices sneakers, my feet felt heaven. The sensation has sense worn off, but it was amazing how different those new shoes felt from the old. I had actually forgotten that shoes do more than simply protect your feet. They can actually offer support for your back and make walking easier. Who knew?!
So now it is my goal to get Joseph some new shoes. He insists with sticking with plain white, and that's fine. We even did some research today to figure out his current type of shoes and what the newest version is and where we could look for it. Hopefully in this coming weekend we will go out shoe hunting and he will have the same marvelous comfortable experience that I had.

Follow Your Dreams Because They're What You Want

WARNING: This blog is a little more of a rant than an actual blog, but I still make a point.

Acting has always been a passion of mine. (The following is not bragging, it is an introduction. I swear)I believe I was in my first real play in 4th grade, but I do not remember what it was. The plays that hold the fondest memories for me are Once Upon a Shoe and the musical You're a Good Man Charlie Brown. I have won awards for acting and backstage work in various productions. I act, I am a stage manager, I can push buttons (may not be able to tell you what the buttons mean), and I have directed a few small productions. Everyone agrees that I am good at it. But it's not what I want to do in my life. (Introduction over)

As a student going off to college, I am facing a time in my life where I will be discovering who I am and what I want. I already have a few goals. I want to major in math, another passion of mine, and find out if I really have the mental capacity to do it. I want to minor in something, probably psychology, because it seems like a useful thing to have. I want to explore new options. Hopefully, I can join some sort of book club. I want to play the flute. Acting, is not the highest priority. 

People that know me will often ask, "Are you going to do drama in college?" I tell them I might but I do not have any plans to do it right now. Their response is always, without fail, "You should do it. You're so good at it." Maybe I am wrong, but I feel like their logic there is a bit flawed. Just because someone is good at something does not mean they want to do it. Take any movie about a person forced into following their parents dreams. They most likely have a huge talent for whatever their parents want them to do, but the child does not want to do it. 

I believe that wanting to do something should have nothing to do with your ability to do it. The idea of "people should want to do things they're good at" seems to stem from the idea that "everyone wants to be successful." The problem with connecting those two concepts is that success means something different for everyone. For one person, success could mean successfully raising a child without ever being called by the police. For another person, success could mean having a six figure salary. For the man whose goal is to be a father, being good at singing certainly does not mean he should try to keep doing it. For the woman who wants to be rich, singing could very well be the best option if she is talented enough.

So everyone thinks that I should keep acting even if I do not want to right now. I think that a part of me will always belong with the theatre, but my goals in life lie elsewhere. I will never lose the respect I have for people that participate in any aspect of drama, but I am ok not being the one who is receiving respect. Following your dreams is all about knowing what you want to achieve and figuring out how to do it. It is not about knowing what you want and doing things you're good at that may have nothing to do with your goal. So when you encourage people to follow their dreams, make sure you are encouraging them to do what they want, not what you think they enjoy. 

Taking Risks

I have always been a very cautious person physically. I was never the type of child to jump off a wall or try to climb a tree. I think that my caution stemmed from the fact that there were never any jumping walls or climbing trees around me when I was growing up. My parents did not shelter me from pain nor did they ignore me when I cried. I was just never in situations where I could do something obviously dangerous and risk getting hurt. My worst injury acquired was when I broke my collarbone after a window fell on me. My strangest injury was when I somehow managed to badly scrape the area right under my nose while racing my father up the driveway. And of course, my first stitches were given to me when I split my chin open on the bathroom floor when I slipped while crawling around pretending to be a dog.
All of these injuries happened pretty early on, and while they did hurt me, they didn't really discourage me from running and playing. I was still a healthy, active child, just not one who was likely to jump off a high place or climb anywhere at all. I was perfectly content on the ground and I still am. Despite my injuries, I am not particularly scared around construction sites or in the bathroom or when running on the road. However, I am terrified when it comes to emotional pain.
Before middle school, I lived a perfectly happy, peaceful life. Like most children, I dreamed of something more because I was unable to see the wonders I already had. I was not content with a dog; I dreamed of having a miniature horse that would wear horse tennis shoes in the house too. I dreamed of going on adventures like the characters I loved to read about in my books. Little did I know the emotional strife that can follow those adventures. In sixth grade, I faced the biggest challenge of my life when my parents got divorced and my family tried to reform itself into something better.
As a child, I could not understand why my parents did not love each other or why they were doing this to me. It hurt me and the stress of the adjustments being made in my life along with the pressures and dramas of middle school caused me to go into a deep depression. It was one of those depressions you do not realize you're in until you are back out. Once I finally managed to return to my old, happy self around freshmen year, I was only a little more cautious than before. I had learned to be more careful about telling people everything. I learned what facts to hide and which to expose early on, just like any other kid.
Then, everything took another nose dive my junior year. I went deeper into depression than I ever had been before, coming out of it just in time to start my senior year in high school. By then, I had learned that stress caused my depressions. Unfortunately, I let my grades slip, unwilling to go study the extra hour in fear that it would cause stress and I would dive right back into the black bit I had just climbed out of. I became extremely emotionally cautious, hiding myself behind a fake smile and untold stories.
Only recently have I begun realizing that being so emotionally guarded will never get me anywhere in life. I have never played Tetris because I heard it was addicting and didn't want to get addicted. I never played Flappy Bird for the same reason. And up until last night, I had not read The Fault in Our Stars because I heard that it was heart breaking. Let me tell you, that book is painful, but also beautiful. It made me realize that taking risks in life doesn't just mean jumping out of a plane or dropping out of college to pursue your life long dream of being an artist. It means allowing yourself to do something that you know can hurt you no matter how minor the pain.
In The Fault in Our Stars (I don't like calling it TFIOS for some reason. It looks wrong) the two main characters take the biggest risk of all, falling in love. Now, I know it may sound cheesy to say that falling in love is the biggest risk ever and some of you may roll your eyes and say "Wouldn't jumping off of a cliff with no way to slow your momentum or cushion your fall be a bigger risk" and in some ways you would be right. If we are talking physically, jumping off that cliff would definitely be more dangerous and you probably shouldn't do that. But in my opinion, falling in love is one of the most risky things you can do emotionally.
Think about it. When you fall in love with someone, you are giving them the power to hurt you. For some people that may not hit home as much, but others will hopefully be able to emphasize with me here. But falling in love is not really the point of the blog here. I am talking about taking risks with your emotions.
Take the risk of reading a book that makes everyone cry or watching a movie in which you know the dog dies (almost rhymed!). These experiences are what drives life. You are a boring person if you can't talk about something that really made you feel emotionally. If you're reading this and thinking to yourself "I might be boring..." go out there and find something you are passionate about. It could be a good passion or a bad passion, but it is feeling. Our emotions make us alive and, some may argue, human.
You cannot find these passions if you do not take risks. For me, it is easy to decide to take time out of my day to try something new. It is when it comes to emotional risks that I close up. Everyone is different. We all have risks that we are less willing to take. I am less willing to allow myself to care for someone deeply whereas someone else may be less willing to try bungee jumping. Find that thing that is hard for you to do and do it. I promise, having that experience will make your life all the better.

5 Things I Do Not Understand About Women in the Bathroom

Ok, I have to warn you, this might get a bit gross. I mean, I'm talking about bathroom stuff here and we all know that bathroom stuff is not all that pleasant. Also, I am a woman and I'm not even going to pretend I know what men do in the bathroom. Sorry boys, I can't critique your peeing stance today. Alright, onto the list of things.

Issue #1: Missing the toilet

We are women. We sit down when we pee or poop, so how come it does not all end up in the toilet. And don't even say it's because you squat instead of sitting. Everything should still be going in the same direction and you should not be hovering that far above the toilet. If you don't want to touch it, don't touch it, but don't stand above the seat! I mean, you have to have some seriously bad aim to get it on the back of the toilet or on the floor. Please, please, please, fix this!

Issue #2: Not throwing things away

Seriously, do you think I want to see all that junk? And I'm not talking about bloody pads or tampons or anything. I'm talking about their wrappers. Just because it's not covered in blood does not mean you don't have to throw it away. And for goodness sake, please, do not flush it! You know very well that only toilet paper and your waste should venture down that toilet pipe.

Issue #3: Shy pee-ers

It all makes the same sound. It's water falling into water. You hear it when you're filling a cup at the sink. So why the heck is it suddenly so scandalous when it is coming out of your body? Even pooping! It all makes the same sound! Maybe I can understand not wanting people to hear vocals, but those aren't necessary. Just let it all fall into the water. It's not like we all haven't heard it in our own bathroom at home.

Issue #4: Mirror-Hoggers

So what if your boyfriend is out there waiting for you and you want to look good? I want to clean the ick off my hands!

Issue #5: Flush the toilet!

I'm not talking about when women go to the bathroom and don't flush their own toilet, although that's gross too. I'm talking about when a woman walks into a stall and sees waste in the toilet and walks back out of the stall instead of flushing. I have stood in lines to get into the bathroom only to find that there has been an empty stall that no one wanted to flush this whole time! And maybe you have something against flushing more than once. That's fine. Do your thing then flush it all. I promise you, it's not going to jump back up into your butt.

The thing about these things is that they are really common. I know women who openly say, "ya, I won't flush a gross toilet" or "ya, I won't go to the bathroom unless there's noise." I've known friends to get stuck in the bathroom for an hour because they just can't let it out where someone else can hear. I don't understand it. I used to be this way once too. Except I never missed or left my trash everywhere. But I wouldn't go in a stall with a filled toilet and I would hold my bladder shut until I was alone. Then one day, I thought, "That toilet just needed to be flushed and now I'm here waiting for ten more minutes to go because I didn't flush it." So what did I do? I flushed the toilet. And if I can do it, so can you.

Disclaimer: I understand that it is difficult to get out of the habit or being a shy pee-er or not wanting to flush an icky toilet. I don't mean to offend anyone, merely point out the problems that face women in the bathroom. Also, mirror-hogging is ok when there are not people waiting behind you to wash their hands. By all means, keep staring at yourself.  

Transfer

Here is the story I promised to write in my previous blog. There are parts that I feel could be more well written, but I do not usually write stories like this so it was an interesting challenge for me. Overall I feel that I did a good job in getting the words on the paper and making sure they mean something. So without further ado, Transfer: 

“There has to be some mistake,” I insisted. “I know for a fact that I ordered an 18 year old body, not a 13 year old one.”

“We have looked over your file, Ms. Grace and found no error. Perhaps you miswrote.”

I grabbed the clipboard from the doctor’s outstretched hand and skimmed it quickly.

Desired Age:     13    Variation:   none  

The variation was correct but the desired age was wrong. There was no way I could ever make this sort of mistake.

“Someone has obviously been tampering with this form I did not write this,” I told the doctor as I handed the papers back. “Now, can we discuss getting me a loaner body until this one is properly aged?”

“Unfortunately, your entry forms state explicitly that you do not wish to participate in any different DNA tests. Any loaner body would have DNA different from yours and until we discover how much effect the DNA has on the personality, we are unable to loan you a body. You may request the creation of your own loaner for a future time, but we cannot offer you one now. It seems your only choice is to let yourself age naturally.”

“No, no, no!” I exclaimed. “You don’t understand! I thought I was coming here to receive a full grown body! I did not fill out any of the forms necessary for occupying a minor! I will have to go back to school! I’ll be put in boarding school or some other care system until I am legally old enough to take care of myself! I won’t be allowed to... oh my goodness, Nate!”

I ran out of the room as quickly as I could, looking for my partner of 200 years. We had been through more body swaps than most couples stay together for, but we had never experienced an error like this. Could he really wait for me for three more years? Any physical interaction between us before then would be considered illegal since I had not filled out the forms stating that my body is minor but I am a legal adult. I will be considered a minor until the day this new body turns 18 and I will not reach the age of consent until it is 16. Even then our relationship will be judged by the public. I knew how much Nate hated attracting the attention of others.

I burst into the room where he stood, 18 and testing out his new, youthful body. He looked just as he had every other time, but he still managed to take my breath away.

“Nate,” I said quietly to get his attention.

He turned to face me and his mouth fell open.

“Grace, you didn’t tell me you were going for so... young...”

“I-” I tried to say, but he interrupted.

“Is this your way of trying to spice things up? I know we haven’t been doing as well as usual lately, but I thought we agreed the transfer would help that. You know I’m not into that prepubescent thing.”

“Nate, listen, they messed up my form. Someone changed the number. They’re saying I’m stuck like this until my body ages naturally.”

“So you’re...”

“A minor, yes. A legal minor.”

Nate took a few steps back and sat on the low table behind him.

“Who will take care of you?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I don’t have any family that would be willing to take on that role. I will probably end up going to one of the foster families.”

“You can’t do that, Grace, you’ll hate it there.”

I didn’t respond. He was right.

“What if... what if I took care of you?”

“You? I don’t think they would allow that considering our past. We are registered as partners, you know.”

“We were registered,” Nate reminded me. “All of that became invalid once you became a minor. Grace, you’ll have to relive your whole life. All your education, those doctorates your earned, they’re all invalid.”

“I know,” I said, quietly.

The purpose of the Minor Laws was to give people a way to begin life fresh. The idea was that living life forever would get boring eventually so in order to give people a way to keep it interesting the Minor Laws were created so that a person may transfer into a minor body and lose everything except their identity, which can be changed upon transfer. If the proper forms are filled out, a person might keep all of their past achievements or apply to be legalized as an adult early if they wanted to live life in a young body, but not a young style. Unfortunately all of this needed to be done pre-transfer. I had done none of it. They were  probably erasing my files as we spoke.

There were other people like me who had been turned minor by mistake. There were protests out there trying to overturn the Minor Laws or to allow someone to apply for legal adulthood after transfer. The problem was, I had the undeveloped brain of a 13 year old. When transferred into a body 18 or older, the brain is fully matured before the transfer occurs. They can mature the brain for minor bodies too, but the person has to apply for legal adulthood prior to the transfer. There was no way to mature any part of the body after it had been activated.

“I will apply for guardianship over you, Grace. At least that way we can stay together,” Nate insisted.

“That’s not fair to you, Nate. You deserve to be with someone that can actually be with you. Besides, you said so yourself that we weren’t doing well before. Maybe this transfer is a chance to leave each other and try new things,” I said.

“Grace, you aren’t seriously thinking about starting over completely, are you?”

“I am, actually” I replied, holding my head up a little bit.

“Don’t be hasty in this decision. It’s life changing,” he reminded me, but I didn’t need reminding.

“I know that. It was me that just got put in a minor body. I think I should take advantage of this opportunity and if life brings us back together again when I am older, so be it.”

Nate took my hands in his.

“Will you at least tell me what name you will change to?” he asked.

“Rose,” I replied. “It was my grandmothers. She lived a very successful and happy life. Maybe it will grant me luck too.”

Nate drew my hands up to his lips and kissed them lightly before allowing me to drop them at my sides.

“Good luck, Rose,” he said.

“Good luck, Nate,” I responded, turning around and walking out of his room and back into mine where I began the process of changing my name and the history of my life.

My Plant the Escape Artist

For years it has been debated whether or not plants have the ability to think or scheme. Scientists claim that it cannot be proven and so far all attempts have failed. Well, ladies and gentlemen, I am here today to tell you that I own a plant that has cognitive ability and uses it on a daily basis. You see, my plant is, and has been for a full year, trying to escape.
This is my plant:

As you can see, it is trying to climb out of the door. Unfortunately, the lighting is not great in this picture, but it you look closely you can see the part of the plant that is growing down towards the door knob. I'm telling you, this plant wants out. 

So where did this smart plant come from, you ask? My mother gave it to me for Christmas last year (2013). It looked like this: 

(I did not take that picture)

And a week or two later it looked like this: 

(didn't take that one either) 

When my mom gave it to me, she expected it to grow to say I love you and then die and I thought it would too, but it kept growing. The bulb part that says "I love you" split open and a stem grew out of it. It eventually grew too tall to support itself so my mother and I tied it to a chopstick to help it stand up straight.d up straight. For a while it wound up the chop stick, but eventually it grew too tall.
At this point, I was in love with this plant. I had never had a plant of my own that actually had a chance of lasting in this world. Not to mention we still had no clue what type of plant it was. So, I convinced my mom to buy a new pot and help me re-pot it. The process was terrifying. We had to cut off the can. My mom warned me about a million times that this might not work and that my plant might die. (it didn't)
We gave it a new chopstick tied onto the top of the old one, but the plant wanted to grow outwards. It was tired of just growing up so we bought it the black fence thing.

My mom began to worry about how big this plant would get so we finally looked it up and discovered that it was a Sword Bean plant. Sword beans are inedible, but they're huge and look cool. I don't have any pictures of mine before they dried, but they're easy to find online. I have a picture of when the beans were just beginning and the plant was still flowering.

Of course, it was not always easy going taking care of this plant. It got infested at one point and some of the leaves looked like this:

A bit of bug spray fixed that right up. I think the leaf in that image has since dried up. The plant hardly made it through the winter. We all thought it was going to die even though we kept it happy and watered. It didn't die. Again. 

Anyways, summer came around and I guess the plant got tired of hanging out inside. It has been trying to escape ever since. It grew to the door and latched onto a pointless hook by the frame. And of course that new branch is reaching for the knob. My mom will probably insist on me tying it back soon, but I am enjoying its escape. It is truly the smartest plant I have ever known.